I want you to know that you have left disturbing memories in me when you left. Memories that distract me from what I have originally planned. That is to stay at a safe distance. In my comfort bubble. But your memories continue to haunt me and make me feel things I wish to forget. Because it always leaves that “almost” feeling I can never describe.
And this is why you are disturbing.
Creating ripples in my rhythmical but unsteady heart. And soon began to form tidal waves I cannot control anymore.
It’s like you have created an alarm that goes off whenever I am at the verge of accepting we will never be more. You seem to resurface from your hibernation and make me remember.
And here I am convinced that you brought the calm in my storm. But you left at the aftershock. The stillness brought emptiness. More chaos. More confusion. More storm.
I think I have read almost a hundred thoughts about “almosts”. How it puts you to the edge but never over it. Never crossing the line. Never taking the fall.
Almosts, I realized, has never started but can leave unwanted treasures that will not fade away.